a chronology of thoughts.
welcome
Everybody has a secret world inside of them. All of the people of the world, I mean everybody.
No matter how dull and boring they are on the outside, inside them they’ve all got unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid, amazing worlds.
Not just one world. Hundreds of them. Thousands maybe.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009, 9:17:00 PM
people can still realise the tears behind those fake smiles
hey people.
Something i had to confessed today, no matter how much i've tried to smile, my loved ones can see the tears behind those smiles.
My facade doesn't work anymore?
Haish! sry kak, ibu and those who have been by my side and realised what ive been feeling.
I guess i just cant hide it anymore.
Ibu said, ive became so quiet and she's worried.
Dont worry ibu, im fine. I just need time alone and i admit, ive never been speechless that lasted to days going to be weeks..
Allow me to tell all of u what im feeling.
I have to admit, that all of u doesnt know the true story. Some are lies but still there's truth behind those lies. TO some, i didnt share cause i just dont want to make it big. As in, why must i let people know what im suffering?... not suffering larh.. just another obstacle in life that i need to overcome.
True, u have to let it off ur chest to feel better, i did it. Only one person knows everything from a to z and im relieved. i felt better. telling a person is the same as telling everyone. why? so what i tell everyone, nobody can have the solution out of any problems. is all up to me and whatever came into my way( whatever im fated to go through).
Whatever had happened, i hope my people can forgive and forget. Ive done it. nahh.. never denying i have not ferget but ive forgive. Blame me for being too kind. But i thought of it, holding grudges, anger, hatred wil never change the past. past is past,a time of life where we have to learn from our mistakes. Regret? yea, i regret whatever have happened. but since it have already happened, again, there's no use regretting. I just have to face the consequences. Every actions, there's consequence.
i made myself to walk through this path of life, i have to be patience with the obstacles. Every path, there's obstacles. so there's no use blaming me to walk through this path cause even if i choose the other paths, i will still go through obstacles. so u telling me u're goona blame me for going to that path too? ridiculous right?
Ive learn alot, and i still have alot to learn. Give me time, im learning whatever HE is teaching. all this, time and patience is needed.
We're still in contact, i feel glad. At least, i know what will be happening or what is happening in his life. It hurts not meeting him, cause i miss him alot. But yet, everything happen for a reason. And every good or bad that happened, is for our own gd. if HE doesn't allow us to meet, then be it. HE knows the best and all i can do is accept everything.
Fir, remember what you told me? HE wont give u an obstacle that u're not able to go through.
So no matter how tough it may seems to be, since HE have the confidence that i can go through it, I too should be confident right?
*sometimes, u suddenly see me smile, it may not be a sign of happiness but it's a sign of relief*
~ missing missing missing the times we used to spent~