a chronology of thoughts.
welcome
Everybody has a secret world inside of them. All of the people of the world, I mean everybody.
No matter how dull and boring they are on the outside, inside them they’ve all got unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid, amazing worlds.
Not just one world. Hundreds of them. Thousands maybe.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009, 3:50:00 PM
She says to herself you left before
This time you will stay gone that's for sure
how should i start?
My life was peaceful... skater boy out of my life, b is out of my life. yes i was still hurt by the guy before b. But i shall admit! my life was so peaceful. Till, we met on that night after syuk and i end work. Idk if i should appreciate that night?
We hang around, syuk and i was talking about my brithday party an you kept silent(i tot that was typical of you). Had a short night and u asked if i have the intention to go clubbing? i said no. if i drink? i said no. u even made me me wanna kick my habit. But i wonder, of all people, why i listened to you? days past by when syuk kept asking my point of view of u. and he admit whatever u told syuk. I was shocked. I didnt expect it at all. Cause i know you're the kind who is finding for the perfect girl. suddenly, the day when i fell sick,u contcted me. things were so different then. So much different! As time goes by, we met, we contact, we spent my birthday by the beach and u made me know u till i fall for u. that is the one that i'm in love with.
On the night we were together, i realised alot about u. ur past, ur family background. who u really are. though its hard to accept your past espcially, i still tried my best to accept it cause i believe past is not equivalent to future and present. But things really starts to change. it was so fast! went through alot. had a hard time trying to cnvince u that u are the only one. tryng to make u happy and all. *gosh! im feeing too hurt to talk about it*
Now, u changed alot. u said u couldnt accept me. what's that? U made it sound as though im worse than a slut! u accused me being with him, skaterboi, behind ur back. dear, never deny i used to have feelings for him. but he hurt me too and made me move on. and once i've move on, its hard for me to return to my past. so why? why cant u trust me that we're just friends.
U asked for break, i tot u would be totally gone. but u contact me last night, saying more abt it. dear, u contact me back just to fight again? Im super sick and tired of fighting. I totally hate the guy now. This guy isnt who i love. Where have he gone to? i miss him alot! im too hurt and leads me to be so speechless. i guess that's it uhk. the guy that i love is controlled by the guy that i hate. due to the guy that i hate, i had to leave. im sorry dear. i cant stand it anymore. lets leave things to fate. dont call me, dont msg me, dont meet me, dont cross path with me unless the guy that i hate finally let go of the guy that i love to me. *sobs sobs*
Im still praying to have a strong heart to go through all this and praying for the best for both of us. <3
Jangan kau ganggu aku dulu aku tak ingin bertemu kamu
ku harap kamu akan berubah
jangan hubungi aku dulu
aku tak ingin kau ganggu dulu
*leaving everything to fate*:(