a chronology of thoughts.
welcome
Everybody has a secret world inside of them. All of the people of the world, I mean everybody.
No matter how dull and boring they are on the outside, inside them they’ve all got unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid, amazing worlds.
Not just one world. Hundreds of them. Thousands maybe.
Thursday, October 8, 2009, 5:52:00 PM
love is not real; its a fantasy
its not real cause i feel people are not making it real cause when a party is feeling it, the other party tend to play with it. not saying my situation uhh but it happens to the 5% who met the 95% people.
have i ever shared mine and irry's theory?
th 95% people are the ones who are typical and ain't serious and hartbreakers.
how they fell into this category is due to their past and they seek for revenge but somehow after a few experiences they tend to like it *receiving alot of attention from different prople at one go*
the 5% people are the ones who constantly get hurt by and they are never appreciated.
but somehow when they met a new one, they tend to get themselves trust the new one, believing that it is a new start
but unfortunately, the 5% people always meet the 95% people. its rare for the 5% people to meet the 5% people.
and usually the 5% people end up into the 95% people category due to getting bastard-ed.
i was afraid i will be in the 95% category and on top of that, im afraid i'll be someone who i myself dont know who i am.
and i thought after what have happened between me and him, i've became the 95% person but somehow i dont really feel the guilt cause in a way im not hurting any 5% people.
hahas!
ouh whatever, how i wish i meet the 5% guys.
but what if i meet the 5% but end up acting like the 95% and hurt them? :o
tsk tsk tsk
later irry start to bebel..
tularh nk yg tk typical lagi, kn u facing tk typical problem, now how to solve?! tell me tell me! hahah she's cute, ouh well, my twin, chipmunk.
somehow, though i still answer his calls and msgs, i feel calm with my life now. feeling so free but sometimes down also uhh.. miss him, or just lonely?
but when i think again ,the only reason why i want to be in a relationship is just to be loved.
but the reasons why i dont want to be in a relationship is due to im paranoid, too afraid of getting hurt again and yea all the quarelling and misunderstandings expecially to those who cant understand that my clicks are mostly guys. so its hard to build that trust so yea so the melecehkn, the sakitkn hati larh... its not a love game ok?
love is supposed to be sweet and pure, ouh well.. that's when "love is a fantasy" comes in.
so the complex. ive been trying to stay away from it but i cant help it but to listen to my heart and love. he kept asking whether i regretted knowing him from the start. but hey all that have been happening are all fate. i cant do anything to that. nobody asked for all this to happen.
i've stopped and think.
im still holding on to what i believe
as long as i dont hurt the other party, im willing to get hurt instead.
unbelievable but that's what ive been doing all this while to the guys that i really loved or had the intention to be commited to them though i have the insecurity.
but that was my mistake, i force myself to trust them ppl like my ex-b. it was like 4 mnths ago? then i met him. hurt after hurt. tears after tears.
and i like so shocked of my next week schedule.
can say almost everyday i full shift uhh..
b! how tiring will it be for me? sobs sobs.
later cnnt meet u seii.. sobs sobs.. :'(
from tadie emo, skrg gler. sorry! hahas.
anyway, im at work at cashier updating blog. senteng kn?! hahas. ayu perangai senantiase! =p
i miss my lappy and i really do..
lappy pls come back.. dont leave me... sobs! i just realise how much i love it..
sound so wrong!
ayu! da ludah tkmo nk jilat balik ehh?
wth am i talking??
okok should stop here before i makin mepek.
ni larh akibat nye klu da terlalu mendak..
take care!
xoxo!